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My mom has always been the best friend a girl could have, and I need her advice."Lisbeth had shiny eyes when she asked timidly, "Will you come back?"I hugged her and let her bawl. "Of course I will," I said. "This isn't about your mom or you; this is about me. What is it the kids say now? 'I need to wrap my head around the idea'?" You sure?" she asked."Positive," I replied.Two days later, I drove away after Charli left for work. It was Monday, the sun was shining, the cooler was full of ice and soft drinks, and I had a long journey ahead of me. I went west on I-94, past New Salem and toward Beach. I hoped to take that until I hit I-15 and then go south through Salt Lake City all the way to Phoenix.I stopped in Billings for the night, and after a shower and a nice steak I went into the motel bar for a nightcap. Country and Western music was playing softly from the jukebox, and there were about ten other people in the bar. I ordered a Heineken from a very cute female bartender, and sat. She went into the bathroom washing the makeup off her face.“I know where I belong and there I won’t need any makeup.”She slipped on her jeans and a tank top and went back downstairs. She went into the kitchen where she’d hid her cigarettes in a cupboard. She took out the almost-full pack and lit one.“I’m not going to hang around here all night.”She took a few drags, expecting to feel a little buzz after abstaining for the whole day. It didn’t turn out that way. She felt the smoke burn its way down her throat. She took another drag and she felt the beginnings of a headache. She stamped the cigarette out in an ashtray.“That was a bad one. The next one will be better.”She knew it wouldn’t be better, but it was a habit that defied breaking, regardless how unpleasant it could be at times. There was always the next one that might be better.“I’ve got no time to figure that out now. I know where I’m going.”She shoved the pack into her handbag, which she slung over her shoulder, and marched.
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